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late night 12-12-12

hello thoughts. after sitting, typing, editing all day, the last thing i should be doing now is typing more. but this is for me, not my instructors, not my career, not for my masters degree in communication. just me. just me. the title of my journal when i started it, oh so many years ago (2003) and remains, 'it's just me, free flowing'. there hasn't been much free flowing recently. i haven't really made time for my own thoughts. not tonight. you see, tonight is a rarity. a real rarity. here is why:

today after finishing my final papers, i was no longer stressed and restless about school. normally on wednesday nights i am in class until 9:40pm. tonight was the first wedesday night free all semester. what was I to do? i 'made' dinner. i baked a batch of celebratory brownies, i popped a bag of popcorn and put hotsauce on it, and i finished my dinner with a beer. having digested enough, i hopped on my beach cruiser and travelled the two blocks to play ultimate. i play every monday night, so it was slightly a different crowd on this windy night. the wind got the best of many of my throws, bumping my ego down a notch from my better than normal game on monday. here is when my night gets good:

it is 11:20 on wednedsay night in Pacific Beach, California. it is dark, the smell of the sea, the stiff breeze at my back, i realize that i dont want to go home. there is no need. i am FREE. so i ride my bike, silently on the boardwalk lit by street lamps every 50 feet. PB is abnormally quiet, it is finals week, all of us students are hunkered down studying for tests, writing papers or finishing up lab write-ups. so i ride, a sparce amount of people are out, a guy and a girl are having a serious conversation sitting on the breakwall. i hear the guy on the corner playing silent night on his saxophone, he has talent, i wish i had money to give. it is difficult to embrace Christmas in southern california. then again, my mind starts thinking. I really am free for the last time in my life. for tonight i have no strings attached. in less than two months I will be Mrs. Karen Kutkiewicz, i will be married and have a husband. The rest of my life is booked. This is not a bad thing at all. My schedule is chock-a-block full until march of next year. so this is it. this is Karen Love. cruising on the boardwalk, praying, thanking God for this wonderful life, the beautiful scenery, the ability to run, the amazing man in my life, the wonderful Barabbas Road Church, the magnificent ocean, and this life that has joys new every morning. 

i was content, so i turned around and came home, full of peace. The aroma of evergreen trees is so fragrant, i rode my bike by the Christmas tree stand and inhaled the air that will always remind me of home, my child hood home of the Evergreen state. my life will never be the same again and I am so glad I got the opportunity to write it down, to remember 12-12-12.

be blessed

-it was much darker than this stock picture shows, but the beauty remains-


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Bhagyashree Mujumdar
Dec. 26th, 2012 12:20 pm (UTC)
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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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